I don't believe in God
I don't believe in God, I don't see a reason to believe in God. My question is, why should I believe when I know God? People usually believe in things they don't know. Which we know, there is absolutely no question of belief. For example, I know I am in Munich today, this is not a belief, this is a fact that no one can dispute. On the other hand, I don't know where I will be in 1 month, in that case I believe I will be in Munich or I believe I will be in Bangalore if flights are open, only when there is doubt, there is belief, when there is no doubt, there is no belief.
Before you jump into conclusions, let me explain what I mean by God. If you refer to God as some super human living somewhere in so-called heaven, no, that's not the God I know. If you refer to God as this invisible force, this invisible power, that's here and now like gravity, this phenomena that keeps driving me (possibly you too) to a certain direction, that's the God I know. I know not because of some teachings or preaching or reading books or hearing someone else's experience, I know because of my own experiences. Let me share a couple of recent shareable examples in my life where that invisible power has guided me strongly in a certain direction, especially not an obvious direction.
1. Dad's death
Dad's death: I already wrote couple of posts on this, see this and this. I valued it merely as intuitions. But connecting some of the dots now, I think it was not merely intuitions. It was this invisible power.
Wirecard: For those who don't know, Wirecard was worth over 25 billion euros a few months ago but now it is going through insolvency process starting from 25th June, 2020, employees are all looking for other jobs. Wirecard scandal is probably the biggest scandal of 2020 that has shocked and upset a whole lot of people.
I worked at Wirecard from Jan 2015 until May 2020. In February 2020, 12th Feb to be specific, on the day I returned to office after my vacation, there was a reorganization announcement in my division, it was a very bad surprise for me as more than 80% of my team was taken away from my department as part of the reorg without even consulting or informing me, this was the team that I had put my everything to build in 2019, obviously it pained me, it caused severe pain, my team also couldn't believe it. I had two choices; 1. Fight back against the reorg, in the process I would have to fight with at least 2-3 people equal and above my role 2. Move on, see this as the nature's way of telling me to focus on my own thing such as PublicBI (which I had started since 2017 out of passion). I chose the second option, the same day afternoon I wrote and submitted my resignation. My official end date was 31st May 2020. I had posted about my last day at Wirecard on the 31st of May - https://www.akclarity.com/2020/05/last-day-at-wirecard_31.html .
A lot of people were questioning me if my decision to quit was right instead of fighting back, especially because of COVID -19 situation not many companies were hiring at these times and also I didn't have any other job offer at hand. I didn't have a rational answer, I had only an intuition that my decision was right at that point.
18 days after my exit, on 18th June 2020, Wirecard's news of missing 1.9 billion euros broke and within a week company goes into insolvency. Who in their wildest dream would have dreamt this would happen? Even though I was not part of Wirecard when Wirecard went into insolvency on 25th June, it came as a big shock, I always thought that Financial Times were the bad guys attacking a fast-growing German company, I couldn't sleep one night, one whole day I couldn't focus on anything, I just couldn't believe it, it was that terrible, felt very sad for the employees, especially my ex-team. Wirecard is a company that gave me an opportunity in 2014 for which I will ever remain grateful. A few bad apples doesn't make the whole company bad. Now some of my colleagues tell me that my decision to quit was actually right, my family which stood by me say that I am blessed that I took the right decision at the right time. When I think about it now, I cannot imagine how bad I would feel if I would have taken option 1, to fight, what would all that fight be worth now? I would have remained part of a scandal-hit company fighting for a reorg to be reversed, for what?
This direction that was provided to me, is what I attribute to God, I think I was attentive or alert or conscious - I don't know the exact word for it, basically, I mean I was in a state where I was ready to receive that input and put that input to action by resigning.
That's why I think, I don't have to believe in God because I know God. For me, based on my own experiences (2 provided above and many more like these which I share with my family), there is an invisible power that is surrounding us, we just have to be highly alert to experience it and be reflective to know that we have experienced it, just like air is surrounding us but we may not notice it, just like gravitational force was/is always there but we don't bother to pay attention to it, God, the invisible power, is there surrounding us.
I am not a believer or disbeliever, if you want to put me into a box, I am a knower. If I get to know something more I will share it. As of now, this is all I know, there is an invisible power. And I am able to access it sometimes, how to access it all the time, I don't know, I am analyzing.