Stop being a Catalyst to Rape, Prevent a Girl or Woman from being Raped.

How to prevent rape?


In a posh 4 bedroom house an NRI software engineer (35), originally from Bengaluru, living with his beautiful wife and two cute daughters in the US reads news online about India and says to his wife "Oh God, what has happened to India? look, it's another rape, a 5-year-old girl has been raped in Uttar Pradesh, gang rape, I am scared to go back to India with you and our daughters now". 

In Delhi, on the streets there are protests, there are people shouting slogans, kill that bast***, cut his **** off, burn him, chop him into pieces and throw those pieces to the dogs. All over the country, in fact all over the world there is concern, there is helplessness, people want to do something about this growing menace, but most people choose to remain silent till it doesn't affect them, it's always fun to watch someone else's mad mother, right? 

Little does that NRI software engineer realize that he ("X") was a catalyst to this rape of the 5-year-old girl. Yes, he dint even have to travel to India for this 5-year-old girl to be raped. His messages did.

X grew up in Bangalore, studied Engineering, in Engineering he made many friends, who came from different parts of the country. Socially he is a very nice person, has lot of friends, he is still in contact with many of his friends from school, college and with friends from his first job in a well-known IT company in Bangalore. X is a member of around 10 Whatsapp groups, 2 or 3 of which he is an admin, one family group, one school group, one engineering friends group, one first job friends group and so on.

X has one addiction, he likes porn a lot, and he wrongly assumes his friends also would like it and he continuously forwards porn clips to all his friends' groups except for the group in which girls are also members. Some of his friends requested him to stop sending such content but he doesn't care. His argument is, this is a boys group, what's the problem? and couple of others back him. This goes on for a while. In his engineering group, there is a software engineer working in the same well-known IT company in Bangalore. Let's call him Y.  Y is also a member of several Whatsapp groups. In one of the groups he has a school drop out friend (Z). Whatever porn was sent by X to Y was sent to Z by Y.

            X -----> Groups ( Y is present in one )  and Y ----> Groups ( Z is present in one )

Long story short, Z was one of the rapists of that 5-year-old girl. Z doesn't have anything to lose other than his life, he is a school dropout, a street chap, does nothing all day except for creating problems for others including his barely surviving old mother. Steals whatever he can, including phones, has access to internet, considers watching porn a good thing to do because his friend Y who is a software engineer is forwarding him these. "An educated guy is forwarding it, this is probably what everyone does all the time", he thinks.  As expected doesn't get companionship of a girl throughout his life, is motivated and encouraged by all the porn movies his friends send him, wants to try it out, rapes the 5- year-old girl mercilessly with help from his friends.  There can be many more connections and many more scenarios, I hope you get the point. If you dint get the point, don't bother to read further.

Who is the problem starter/creator here? Who is the catalyst for rape here?
  • The NRI software engineer?
  • The software engineer in Bengaluru?
  • Governments across the world? For allowing misuse of Whatsapp and Internet? 
  • Government of India? For not taking enough measures?
  • Government of Uttar Pradesh? For not ensuring these school dropouts are provided with alternate good options.
  • We? Who don't create awareness about these issues among our friends, our family members, our colleagues, all the people whom we know ?
It's mostly us. We have elected the governments too. If government is bad, we have made bad selection. 

From this one observation-based story, we can learn that there are many participants across the world involved in a girl getting raped in a remote village in Uttar Pradesh, so stop blaming the girls for their dressing or their behaviour, throw those dirty and filthy arguments to the dustbin. A 3 or 5-year-old girl getting raped is not because of her dressing style, it's just animalistic nature of some men.  We, as a society have failed to bring down that animalistic nature in those men, instead we have encouraged them and motivated them. 

There are many other such connecting reasons. 

Please stop showing girls as sex objects in the movies, show them for their talent, show a heroine for her acting skills, fighting, dancing, singing, writing, science, maths, technical, analytical skills, etc. Don't make it look like an exception or a bold thing that girls have talent, make it look normal for girls to possess talent. Because that is the reality, there are normal girls who are talented. Show that a friend (girl) of heroine is more smart than the heroine (most movies show that the friends of beautiful heroines are very dumb). Make movies like Bahubali ( 3 women in that movie had real roles, not skin show roles), make movies like C/O Saira Banu   where a common lady fights for her adopted son and wins.



Lack of Self-Control :  Those of you, who are addicted to any of bad habits like smoking, chewing pan, tobacco etc and you know it's bad and you want to quit it but can't, get it straight from me, you are weak, you have not worked on your mind, your heart knows what is right, what is wrong, it tells your mind, but your body just doesn't listen to you. If you get an opportunity to rape, an opportunity where you know you will not be caught for that act, you will not hesitate to rape. 

Self-control is very much required, take back control of your body, even if the most beautiful girl seduces you, you should be able to hold back your body if that is what you think is right. Learn how to control your body, your mind should control your body, your heart should control your mind. And  your heart exactly knows what is right, what is wrong. ExSkip junk food for a day, then for a week, then for ever.  Let your children learn self-control by observing you. For example, don't hide TV remotes, phones, toys etc from them, keep it where they can easily reach it and tell them not to touch it till they finish studies or bath or lunch etc and make them follow it, reward them for following it and for having self-control, please spend time with children as they grow. These small small things eventually makes a big difference.  This is how we can build a better society. A society where girls/women can walk freely at mid-night without being scared. If we voluntarily don't stop it, the situation is not going to change, it will only worsen.

Everyone talks about what punishment should be given to the rapist. Whatever punishment you give, it's after the rape, you can't reverse what has happened. I am not saying we should not punish, we should punish, yes severe punishment, but is it stopping people from committing rapes? No.  Let's also focus on prevention in the first place. Very less people think about the rape victim. Her life can never be the same again. We all know "Prevention is better than cure", then why are we not preventing? Especially in this globally connected world, everything is connected, we just don't see the connections, the deeper we go, the more connections we will see. What you talk, read, see, hear, basically all of your actions has an impact on someone somewhere whom you have never met and probably will never meet in your life. Live responsibly.  Be aware of yourself. 

It pains, it really pains to hear, to read these rape news on daily basis. Let's bring an end to it. 

Please stop being a catalyst to rape. Prevent a daughter, a sister, a mother, a friend, a girlfriend, a wife, an aunt,  a granny, a colleague, a girl, a woman from getting raped. Please. 

I won't request you to share or forward. If you feel you want to bring a change in the mindset of the people on this topic, please do it. Let's prevent rape.

  • In India a woman is raped every 15 minutes. [1]
  • In 98%  were committed by someone known to the victim. Most are opportunistic crimes [2] 
  • Most rapes go unreported because the rape victims fear retaliation and humiliation [2]
  • Unemployment and poverty are common features among the gangs who rape [3]
  • In the December 2012 gang rape case, of the five convicted, only one had a school education and spoke English [4]

[1] - https://www.thedailybeast.com/whats-really-behind-indias-rape-crisis
[2] - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_in_India
[3] - https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jun/04/india-gang-rapes-deep-crisis-men
[4] - http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-23434888 2012 December 2012 gang rape

As this is a very serious topic I have excluded the SIMPLSH version for this post.

Comments

  1. SII QIS NEWS

    https://www.ndtv.com/mumbai-news/woman-moves-supreme-court-over-husbands-porn-addiction-seeks-ban-on-porn-sites-1813268?pfrom=home-topstories

    GAWERMENT XUD RIALI BAEN XERING OF PORN WIDIOS WAIA (VIA) WHATSAPP .

    PIPL XUD STOP FORWADING YUSLES MESSEJS. E JENEREXEN IS WESTING TAIM WIVOUT RIALAIZING QE IMPORTENS OF TAIM.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well written my friend! But I differ a little
    1. Porn or rather sex should not be a taboo in India. There should be proper sex education from early age.
    2. The education from family, teachers and society matters. Ex. If he or she us brought up in a society whr women are put down the kids learn the same. Father scolding mother, teachers favouring guys than girls all are wrong learning!
    3. I strongly believe if someone isn't performing well in education can perform good in other stuffs. Encourage that don't put a fallout in education in the list of fallout of sports or sales or anything.

    After all I wrote you write this article I don't think we will need it. Infact this article also is misleading few people who think these people who failed in studies are nuisance to people. What we all need is love my friend not create another barrier bases on the education system !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks my friend for taking time and commenting. I guess there is a little bit of misunderstanding. Let me please clarify with an analogy; A car, lets say a brand new BMW car, is it good or bad? But if you let a person who doesn't know how to drive it, drive it without any training, it could really kill people. Who is responsible here? You, BMW car or the guy who tried to drive?

      It's important that people get the right kind of training to drive a car before they start driving alone. So, the point is, it's not about whether something is good or bad. Who is the end user of that something makes a big difference. Is the end user ready for it? That makes a difference. So before you give something to someone, you should know whether that person is ready for it and that he/she is capable to handle it.

      Now, you feed a certain population with all sorts of things in all possible ways. A part of that population is living without basic level of education, without basic level of living standards, without developing a culture of responsible living, without developing a sense of purpose, without developing self-respect, and not having any prospects to look forward to. Another part of the population has the money and the power to do any crime and get away without being caught. What can we expect from such population? Connecting with above analogy, they are not ready for it, they are not capable yet. Make them ready and then feed whatever you want to feed.

      It's time we started living responsibly, it's time we understand that our actions, our words, our thoughts impact people.

      Delete
  3. Well written my friend! But I differ a little
    1. Porn or rather sex should not be a taboo in India. There should be proper sex education from early age.
    2. The education from family, teachers and society matters. Ex. If he or she us brought up in a society whr women are put down the kids learn the same. Father scolding mother, teachers favouring guys than girls all are wrong learning!
    3. I strongly believe if someone isn't performing well in education can perform good in other stuffs. Lets Encourage that and lets not put a fallout in education in the list of fallout of sports or sales or anything.

    After all I wrote and if it happens then try writing this article. I don't think we will need it. Infact this article also is misleading few people who think these people who failed in studies are nuisance to people. What we all need is love my friend not create another barrier based on the education system !

    ReplyDelete

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